Thursday, 24 November 2005

Not Quite Follow Ups

In an almost follow up to one of my old rants the Accidental Hedonist sees a list of Ten Commandments for restaurant goers:

  1. Honor your reservation

  2. Don't hog your table

  3. If you don't like where you're seated, speak up!

  4. Bring your kids, but keep them in line

  5. Put your cellphone on vibrate

  6. If the food isn't to your liking, say so, politely and immediately

  7. Life's too short to drink bad wine

  8. Communicate dietary restrictions carefully and early

  9. Don't even think about leaving a penny tip to show your scorn for a disappointing experience

  10. Spread the good cheer

And responds in kind with a list of rules that restaurants should honour (Kate expands on these a bit at the site itself, the list here is to give you a flavour, as it were):

  1. Honor the reservation.

  2. Respect the Table - If the customers don't wish to interact with the wait staff, they shouldn't be forced to do so.

  3. Make no presumptions about your customers.

  4. Thou shall not upsell.

  5. Play your piped music at a point where it doesn't dominate a conversation.

  6. Don't play off of your customer's supposed ignorance of wine.

  7. Ensure that your staff keeps personal conversations in the back of the house, away from the customers.

  8. Thou shalt have clean restrooms.

  9. The patron has a right to respectfully question any aspect of service.

  10. Hot food should be served hot.

As I say it touches on some of the things I was ranting about, but with more class.

Also as another etiquette post I made, this time about jam sessions, came to me when I read a post on Usenet ( about Blues Jam Rules, the original poster was a bit of a, well, let's just say a bridge-dweller and leave it at that, so I'll reproduce the list here:

  1. Make sure everyone is more interested in the hardware (amps/guitars/
    mics) than the music.

  2. Don't let anyone play who:

    1. can read a chord chart

    2. play a proper tune

    3. has any taste

    4. has ever done a proper gig.

  3. Make sure there are lots and lots of over-amplified harmonica

  4. Ban anyone caught suggesting anything that isn't an absolutely standard three chord 12 bar or "Hey Joe" in E.

  5. Have a queue for the bedroom Strat strummers who want to do "Red House" or "Crossroads".

  6. Find drummers and bass players who don't get bored too easily or are

  7. Make sure all lead singers are complete amateur novices (and it's even better if they do a bit of appalling grating harmonica nonsense).

  8. Make sure none of the "tunes" are too short. Ten or fifteen minutes per song is normal in order to instill true tedium. Any shorter and it might start becoming entertaining.

  9. Make sure all the players only listen to themselves. You get the proper Blues jam cacophony then.

  10. Turn all the back line up to ten to start with. This will save the Strat strummers having to do it themselves during their stint.

Dunno, it made me smile... Mostly because I don't have a Strat, I have a Tele.

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