Going Down In History

For a while now the Guardian has had a regualar feature called Reel History that assesses the historical accuracy and the entertainment value of films inspired by true events. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford gets an A- for accuracy, for instance, while only garnering a D for entertainment, which is a little harsh and it manages to be one of those reviews where the reviewer wanted to watch a different movie:

Too often, the monotonous voiceover recounts events which sound a lot more interesting than anything happening onscreen, while the audience is left watching endless shots of snowy fields and rickety furniture. Jesse James remains a distant figure[.]

All of which seemed to have some point to me rather than being reasons to mark it down.

Anyway, it's quite amazing that they hadn't got around to U-571 before now as at seems exactly the sort of movie the format was built for: A movie about a moment of British Heroism that has been handed over to Americans to make it more Box Office friendly. As if that wasn't enough:

Obviously, at some point during pre-production, someone asked the question: "But how can we make this film even more ridiculous?" Fortunately, the answer was readily to hand: cast 90s poodle rocker Jon Bon Jovi as the chief engineer.

So, plenty of reasons to hate this movie. But the reason I'm posting about it here is for this line:

The director actually has the audacity to end on a title card dedicating his film to the memory of the real sailors who captured Enigma machines. Yes, that same memory he has just desecrated. This is exactly the most tasteless gesture the film-makers could have made.

Ouch!

Star Trek: The Trailer

What are you waiting for?

Some trailer, huh? From a weird Thelma and Louise homage to DS9 style starship porn. Everything you'd want really.

Quantum Of Solace: A Mini Review

I read a review of The Kingdom somewhere that said it was like watching a perfectly decent movie with a vibrator strapped to your face.

Well, QoS is like watching Casino Royale in much the same way.

I hope that it is the second part in a trilogy and the overdone Bourne-isms here are an attempt to show that this is the Wrath of Bond. And that, having worked out his anger, he'll continue moving toward a smoother, suaver Bond.

In hardly any of the set pieces is an attempt made to establish the space in which the protagonists are moving or their spatial relation to each other so all the action is pretty much meaningless. Even the Bourne movies made some concession to this and Casino Royale's brilliant Parkour sequence seems oddly old-fashioned by comparison.

QoS is not a bad movie in many ways, but in its attempt to make a "gritty" Bond it has gone a little too far in the gloss removal. As I said, if the subsequent movies justify excesses of this one as a part of the journey then I will feel a whole lot more warmly about it, but for the moment I'm not so sure.

For me the best scene was at the end, it had a stillness and it seemed to rhyme with the opening of Casino Royale. Craig can be genuinely scary in quiet moments.

Paul Newman Helped Me Pass My Driving Test (Sort Of)

I never met Paul Newman, not that I ever expected to. So I won't ever get a chance to thank him for helping me with my driving test. I gather he was a nice man and I'd like to think he would have been charmed by the story.

Strictly it was him, Robert Rossen and Jackie Gleason. The film is The Hustler and there's a bit in the first game between Eddie and Fats where they take a break. They've been playing pool for hours and Eddie just sits around and chats, maybe has a drink, while Fats goes and gets clean. Fats takes off his jacket and washes himself and combs his hair. The black guy then helps him back on with his jacket and puts talc (I guess) on Fats' hands. Eddie looks at Fats and says something about "You look beautiful Fat Man" and cracks up with laughter. At that point you know that Eddie has lost the first game.

There's something cool about that moment. In a literal sense. Fats cools himself while Eddie doesn't take the time to stop and think he just carries on.

Well, when I took my driving test I got flustered at my first right hand turn, nothing too bad, just nerves. I remembered that moment from The Hustler and I imagined myself as Minnesota Fats putting his jacket on and feeling that little bit cooler. It helped.

The Hustler is a film of many great moments and it is one of my favourites. It helped me pass my driving test.

You Can Mix Anything With Lego

I remember when Lego Star Wars (just the sets) was frowned upon and after that grown men, who should have known much better, questioned the sanity of Lego Star Wars The Videogame. Actually, I suppose Travellers Tales could have messed this game up but they managed to make Star Wars fun again, although getting 100% was sometimes an exercise in controller-throwing frustration.

In the same tradition, how could they lose with Lego Indiana Jones? Both franchises spring from pulpy origins, B-movies with A-movie budgets, if you like, and Indy having the advantage of lending itself to more puzzle based game play.

Well, they triumphed again. The game is probably just a little bit easier than the Star Wars games, "True Adventurer" is almost pathetically easy to attain on most levels compared to the previous games' "True Jedi" status, and the supporting cast don't have quite the variation (and is it me are all the black characters mechanics?) but it shares the same joy at breaking everything in sight and tweaking the nose of the films that spawned it.

Indy Lego has some hilarious moments and nice touches. I liked that but all the bad guy soldiers, not Nazis I hasten to add, had blues eyes. The graphics are subtly improved all-round. The backgrounds, in particular, can be quite stunning and, as before, some of the most interesting rooms are the hidden secrets (the Star Wars Cantina, for one example).

Which is all to say it's not too surprising when some enterprising YouTuber tries to recreate the Simpsons intro sequence in Lego. To be honest, it doesn't quite work, the timing feels off and there could be more detail, but you have to applaud the effort and it's worth a watch despite the flaws.