That said Lone Star Statements over at The Morning News (what's happening over there, by the way? When it started I read every new article, then I just didn't bother —I think it just got too self indulgent— now it's got 2 or 3 must read articles a week) isn't quite the train wreck you were looking for. It's one star reviews of classic novels. Some bizarre, some chuckle-worthy:
The Sound and the Fury (1929)
Author: William Faulkner
"This book is like an ungrateful girlfriend. You do your best to understand her and get nothing back in return."
And some you probably quite agree with:
Gravity’s Rainbow (1973)
Author: Thomas Pynchon
"When one contrasts Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five with this book, it’s like comparing an Olympic sprinter with an obese man running for the bus with a hot dog in one hand and a soda in the other."