Everything Gives You Cancer

When you're a woman, anyways, according to research published in the Torygraph:

Research has shown that acrylamide [the suspected cancer causing agent] is found in cooked foods such as bread, breakfast cereals, coffee and also meat and potatoes which had been fried, baked, roasted, grilled or barbecued.

"Best just nibble on a raw carrot, really" nobody insensitively added.