Product Names

So, anyway, we've done band names and my name for a Hornby rip off. Now brand names.

Scott Miller --he's heard all the jokes about Duke Nuk'em Forever, so don't bother -- sees a can of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper and asks "What flavor is Dr. Pepper?"

A valid question. The more pertinent one, surely, is what kind of society are we living in where a Diet Cherry Vanilla anything isn't met with a loud and derisive "what the fuck!?"?

Slacktivist has a recurring theme on how the more words you add to the name of somthing the less like that something becomes. He uses cheese as an example:

"Cheese" = cheese

"processed cheese" = cheese, sort of

"processed cheese food" = cheese, sort of, plus other stuff that's not cheese

"processed cheese food snack product" = the food in question is orange, but contains no actual cheese.

As well as the existance of weapons of mass destruction:

March 2003: Weapons of mass destruction.

June 2003: Weapons of mass destruction programs.

October 2003: Weapons of mass destruction-related programs.

January 2004: Weapons of mass destruction-related program activities.

So applying this to Dr. Pepper, you've got:

• Dr Pepper: Interestingly flavoured drink.
  
  
• Diet Dr Pepper: Interestingly flavoured drink with less sugar.
  
  
• Diet Cherry Dr Pepper: Drink with less sugar and cherry flavour added to disguise that horrible diet taste.
  
  
• Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper: Man, those last two were bad let's try and sweeten it with something.
  

Thanks, but I'll stick with beer.