Kinky? Why The Hell Not?

Sticking with the Grauniad, they have a nice overview of the Kinky Friedman campaign for Governor of Texas.

Occasionally, Kinky suffers a spectacular smash. In 1986 he ran for justice of the peace in Kerrville, near Echo Hill, and lost badly. 'I couldn't decide whether to kill myself or get a haircut,' he remembers. 'There must be a place in politics for a man of my talents.' Maybe he should run for mayor of Austin? And then - eureka ! - what about governor of Texas? 'That might be therapeutic. When I meet a potential voter,' he says, 'I'm good for precisely three minutes of superficial charm.' He was certainly looking for a new distraction, and jokes now that 'by the time you've written your 17th mystery novel, if you ain't crazy there's something wrong with you. If you happen to be your own main character, it tends to be even worse.'

Martin Rowson Gets E-mails

So, there I was skimming through the headlines on the RSS feed of the Guardian looking for news that the UK had descended in to fiery anarchy over the weekend. What with all the drunken violence that was expected over the new extended drinking weekend and everything. I found nothing. I was slightly disappointed, but I did find an article about the e-mail Martin Rowson gets from right-wing nut-jobs every time he has a cartoon that is critical of Bush published on the Guardian website. I particularly liked this bit:

Otherwise, for 48 hours, nothing. Then, on the Wednesday, they started pouring in: foul-mouthed, abusive, often obscene and frequently threatening. I got about 600 emails altogether, but I also managed to track down the neo-con website which had issued a call to arms to its subscribers to deluge me with this stuff. I don't know why they waited two days. Maybe they were busy cleaning their guns or praying or something.

And his summary made me laugh:

Not that I want to censor cyberspace. I just want my correspondents to have to go to the trouble of finding a bottle of green ink and a stamp before they remind me what an asshole I am.

Reasons I Don't Understand America Part 2

When reviewing a DVD of the best of Beavis and Butt-head a reviewer can say the following:

It's impossible to imagine a post-9/11 Beavis and Butt-Head. Not because the show was devoid of political content but because the world it so ruthlessly satirized, a suburban cocoon of mindless consumption and complacent self-regard, abruptly ceased to exist at the beginning of this millennium.

Seemingly blind to the fact that the existance of the very thing the she is reviewing would suggest that that's wishful thinking at best and a big fat lie in any case. I'm desperately trying to find signs that it's a joke...

Really?

It's not news that I got spam today. Or that most of it was offering to my todger significantly bigger. What did amuse me though is that I got one entitled "Did you know 67% of women are not happy with you". I didn't know that. But, I figured, since that meant 33% were OK with me I'd take my chances. It's certainly better odds than I'd expected.

Not Quite Follow Ups

In an almost follow up to one of my old rants the Accidental Hedonist sees a list of Ten Commandments for restaurant goers:

1. Honor your reservation


2. Don't hog your table


3. If you don't like where you're seated, speak up!


4. Bring your kids, but keep them in line


5. Put your cellphone on vibrate


6. If the food isn't to your liking, say so, politely and immediately


7. Life's too short to drink bad wine


8. Communicate dietary restrictions carefully and early


9. Don't even think about leaving a penny tip to show your scorn for a disappointing experience


10. Spread the good cheer

And responds in kind with a list of rules that restaurants should honour (Kate expands on these a bit at the site itself, the list here is to give you a flavour, as it were):

1. Honor the reservation.


2. Respect the Table - If the customers don't wish to interact with the wait staff, they shouldn't be forced to do so.


3. Make no presumptions about your customers.


4. Thou shall not upsell.


5. Play your piped music at a point where it doesn't dominate a conversation.


6. Don't play off of your customer's supposed ignorance of wine.


7. Ensure that your staff keeps personal conversations in the back of the house, away from the customers.


8. Thou shalt have clean restrooms.


9. The patron has a right to respectfully question any aspect of service.


10. Hot food should be served hot.

As I say it touches on some of the things I was ranting about, but with more class.

Also as another etiquette post I made, this time about jam sessions, came to me when I read a post on Usenet (alt.music.blues) about Blues Jam Rules, the original poster was a bit of a, well, let's just say a bridge-dweller and leave it at that, so I'll reproduce the list here:

1. Make sure everyone is more interested in the hardware (amps/guitars/
   mics) than the music.


2. Don't let anyone play who:
   
   
   
   1. can read a chord chart
   
   
   2. play a proper tune
   
   
   3. has any taste
   
   
   4. has ever done a proper gig.
   
   


3. Make sure there are lots and lots of over-amplified harmonica
   players.


4. Ban anyone caught suggesting anything that isn't an absolutely standard three chord 12 bar or "Hey Joe" in E.


5. Have a queue for the bedroom Strat strummers who want to do "Red House" or "Crossroads".


6. Find drummers and bass players who don't get bored too easily or are
   stupid.


7. Make sure all lead singers are complete amateur novices (and it's even better if they do a bit of appalling grating harmonica nonsense).


8. Make sure none of the "tunes" are too short. Ten or fifteen minutes per song is normal in order to instill true tedium. Any shorter and it might start becoming entertaining.


9. Make sure all the players only listen to themselves. You get the proper Blues jam cacophony then.


10. Turn all the back line up to ten to start with. This will save the Strat strummers having to do it themselves during their stint.

Dunno, it made me smile... Mostly because I don't have a Strat, I have a Tele.

The ATM Fraud That Dared Not Speak It Name

Through Boing Boing, who linked to an article about how difficult it is to shoot off a padlock that they found linked to on his site, I happened upon the author Charlie Stross' Blog (well, he calls it a diary, but the url says blog, who am I to trust?) where he links to an article in The Register. If you've got this far you're probably curious as to what that article is about, well, it's this:

[T]he UK banking system could have collapsed in the early 1990s, but for the forbearance of a junior barrister who also happened to be an expert in computer law - and who discovered that at that time the computing department of one of the banks issuing ATM cards had "gone rogue", cracking PINs and taking money from customers' accounts with abandon.

Go. Read the whole thing.

"Angry, angry young man."

No, not Sideshow Raheem, but Aaron McGruder creator of the Boondocks and now producer of The Boondocks tv show. The Onion AV club get an interview with him:

AVC: So what are you feeling angriest about these days?
AM: I'm actually kind of angriest about the fact that everybody keeps saying how angry I am.

Great Moments In Scientific Research

According to The Guardian scientists have ascertained that:

[Y]oung men as a group [...] when aroused, they (1) become sexually attracted to things otherwise offputting; (2) grow more willing to engage in morally questionable behaviour that might lead to sex; and (3) are more likely to have unprotected sex.

Thanks For The Info

"WHEN A BULL whale comes at you with an erect penis, it’s nine feet long," said Gregory Colbert, aiming a fork at his Caesar salad. "It’s like a torpedo. And you’d better get out of the way, fast."

From the "Advice on taking wildlife pictures: don't become the hors d'oeuvres" in the Times.

Location, Location, Location

A quick note to mention that my brother's site is no longer The Hanks one, apparently that's going to get a do-over and they are going to have a smoother web-presence, as I understand it.

Anyway my bro now resides at Ten-Bob Dylan. Check it out, as they say, and perhaps encourage him to post a bit more often...